A bottle of midori is the answer
by Dani-LUFC
Summary: Damien is drunk and Pip has no idea how to deal with it. Warning huggy anti-Christ, mentions of bible-hate Damien in later chapter and slight slash. No flames so if you don't like then don't read. Dip.
1. Chapter 1

"Pip? Hey Pip."

"Yes, Damien?"

" I made you into a firework."

"I know Damien I was there."

"But I didn't just do it for popularity. It was actually for something else…ooh moving pictures."

Pip sighed as his currently drunk best friend stumbled over and dropped down in front of the TV. A bottle of Midori and Vodka sat on the couch ,empty and countless others littered the floor like candy wrappers. The product of them all was wandering around Pip's living room babbling about evil plots, hell, angels and his father latest…rubber duck? All in all he was glad that for now Damien was a happy drunk. He didn't think he could deal with a pissed off and drunk anti-Christ who was so much stronger than he was on a normal day.

"Damien come and sit on the couch so you don't catch a cold something. I'm going to put these bottles in the recycle." Pip smiled. Damien blinked slowly then grinned and came to sit beside the brit on the couch. When he didn't stop grinning for a few minutes Pip grew nervous. He had no knowledge or past experience of what kind of a drunk Damien was like. The blonde had no clue. So naturally when the grin dropped and a predatory smirk came in it's place he hurriedly stood and made for the safety of the kitchen.

"Piiiip?" The smooth baritone sounded behind him. Before he knew what was happening a pair of arms were snaked around his waist , trapping the blonde against someone's chest. Considering he could feel a dark chuckle rumbling in the chest that person was Damien. _This cannot be good _he thought.

"Damien ! Put me down, now!" He yelped when he was lifted up into the air. The only response he could hear was the dark chuckle again. Blushing he pinched the bridge of his nose as Pip allowed himself to be carried to the front door.

"You can put me down now."

"No."

This was the response he'd gotten for the past half hour. Pip was almost asleep. Despite his protests Damien had carried him through South park and into one of the trails that led to one of the mountains. The looming darkness did nothing to ease his nerves. On the other hand his best friend was warm and Pip was just glad Damien didn't drop him in his drunken stupor.

"Can you tell me where we're going at least?"

The anti-Christ just laughed then shook his head and answered childishly

"No no no no."

This was going to be a long night.

"We're here." Damien cried. Finally he put Pip down and the brit could breathe. He hid his face in his hands as he placed himself on a rock ,looking out to the small town. From here he could see every home including his own. He jumped slightly when he felt warm breath on the back of his neck and arms once again around his waits pulling him to Damien's chest once more. He was seated on the noirette's lap ,against his chest and despite the slight awkwardness it was quite comfortable. The view was amazing! The setting sun gave off an atmospheric glow and the whole town seemed to shine for a moment before the darkness engulfed it.

"It's really dark up here." Pip mused aloud. Behind him Damien nodded in agreement. In one swift movement the anti-Christ had turned Pip around so he was lying on his back on the rock and Damien was straddling his waist.

"This isn't funny, Dami!" Pip protested as he tried to push the older boy away. Seriously Damien regarded his best friend. The sober part of his mind (as small as it was at this moment) told him to stop before Pip figured him out but the rest of his mind was set on telling the blonde.

"Pip. I have to tell you something."

**A/N: Evil cliff hangers! So should I continue? Review or PM me and let me know. **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N Thanks for reading this far. Well enjoy, peoples. Oh and if anyone wants any one shots (especially Dip) or anything writing then I'm happy to oblige because I'm very bored lately seeing as I'm restricted to bed because if illness. Just review or PM me and I'll see what I can do. Being ill really sucks. Anyway the chapter's right under the recap. **

**Skip if you remember or can't be bothered. ****J **

Last time: "It's really dark up here." Pip mused aloud. Behind him Damien nodded in agreement. In one swift movement the anti-Christ had turned Pip around so he was lying on his back on the rock and Damien was straddling his waist.

"This isn't funny, Dami!" Pip protested as he tried to push the older boy away. Seriously Damien regarded his best friend. The sober part of his mind (as small as it was at this moment) told him to stop before Pip figured him out but the rest of his mind was set on telling the blonde.

"Pip. I have to tell you something."

"Yes, Damien. I know you made me into a firework. Now, old chap I do believe you are quite drunk. Get up off me and we can go home." Pip sighed. Although he kind of liked their current position Damien was drunk and wouldn't't return his feelings, he knew. In the morning he would be lucky if he didn't't end up burned to a crisp.

"No. That's not it!" Annoyed, Damien slumped over until both his and Pip's chests were pressed together. Pip squirmed away slightly to put distance between their faces. Damien frowned. What was wrong with him?

"It's a really biggest big secret ever!" He smiled, trying to calm the brit. Pip couldn't help but return the smile.

"Is it something you'll regret telling me in the morning?" Pip asked, cautiously. Damien had been known to once or twice put a snake in Pip's house then video the result. Laughing the other shook his head.

"No. Guess!"

"You have blue prints to the apocalypse?"

"Wrong answer!"

"Stan and Kyle broke up?"

"That's just so wrong…but no guess again. I'll give you a clue." He conceded. As he said 'clue' he tapped Pip on the nose, earning a strange look from the teen.

"I like someone. But it's not a girl." He whispered in Pip's ear. Pip blushed as he realised what Damien had said.

"Kenny?"

"No."

"Cartman?"

"Gross. Ok, so he's someone we both know. You know him better than me obviously. He's blonde. He's…no can't say that. He's awesome."

"Gregory?"

"I'll show you instead." Damien rolled his eyes. Leaning down he slowly cam closer to Pip's face. Deep crimson met sky blue as each stared into the other's eyes.

"You."

Suddenly he crushed their lips together, making Pip jump. But he didn't pull away. Instead he leaned in further and tangled his fingers into Damien's hair. The other responded by pulling Pip closer (if that was possible) and deepening the kiss. Quickly they broke apart as Damien pulled away slightly to look into the other's eyes.

"I love you, Pippers. Wanna be my boyfriend?"

"Yes, yes. I love you ,Dami."

Grinning Pip fisted his hands into the black shirt his new boyfriend wore and brought their lips together once more.

In the trees two boys watched on. Neither of their faces could be seen in the shadows but they could be seen holding hands.

"You so owe me ten bucks, Kyle."

**A/N-And there it is. Dip is my favourite pairing other than Style so I might do a series of one shots based on this…or something. Anyway hope you liked it and it was what you expected. If you did , review and tell me what you liked about it. Thanks for reading! **


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